Hospitality, Safety, and Calibration

Safety has been a huge topic of conversation in the past half a decade of TTRPG design. We’ve seen the invention of and popularization of so many tools like the X-Card, lines and veils, script change, and more. Most of these tools are system agnostic, often stapled on to whatever game is at the table this week. They work great for a lot of people and situations. But most people I talk to agree with two problems (that might be a strong word but let’s go with it) with most of these tools.

The first is that no tool can truly keep you safe, in any context or place. The tools above exist to help facilitate the goal of safety, they’re not band-aids you can slap on any situation to guarantee everyone has a grand old time.

The second is that people sometimes feel reluctant to use safety tools, especially at the times they might be needed most. It can be hard to look at a group of people around you having a ton of fun, whether friends or strangers, and say “no, stop.” Even when it’s something you need to say.

I have for some time been reconsidering how I think about safety tools and looking for not just better tools but better vocabulary around them to try and, if nothing else, address my own discomfort around their use. Meguey Baker’s piece Traffic Lights Are Communication Tools was a great starting point for this line of thought, but I’d like to put forth two other ideas.

The first, and perhaps more controversial of the two, is that I think the term “safety tool” is not ideal. When you start talking about safety tools, people get on edge. It’s intimidating. If we need tools to be safe, does that mean we are inherently in danger? I mean yeah, kinda, but that’s life. Sometimes people are shitty, either accidentally or on purpose. But there are plenty of games where we can talk about that and prepare people for when it happens with less charged language.

If we set a line against child death while setting up for Honey Heist, something is already off, unless maybe we know we’re playing Honey Heist in the style of The Expendables. If you come to my house for dinner, I don’t tell you at the door to make sure not to bring up child death, unless maybe our friend Kristen’s child recently passed away.

As an alternative to the term safety tool, I prefer the terms calibration tool, taken from Nordic larp, or communication tool as Meguey suggests. Both of these terms carry the same implicit goal of safety while underlining a verb you can act with when something is about to go or has gone wrong. They both also have the benefit of framing things in a more welcoming way in the leadup to an uncomfortable situation: calibrating and communicating are both things I want to do constantly, where safety remains a goal out in the nebulous future until it very much is in the present.

The idea of a calibration tool also feels easier to design towards for me. I don’t know how to design a mechanic that’s going to keep everyone safe, because no such mechanic exists. But I do know how to at least try and design a tool that allows people to check in with each other in a way convenient for the game at hand. It’s the same task, but calibration and communication give me places to start. Safety less so.

The second idea about safety, calibration, and communication tools that I want to popularize is the idea of hospitality. I got this from Jason Morningstar, and you can read one version of how we talk about this in our game Northfield, or in basically any game Jason’s designed recently. But he says he first encountered this framing of hospitality via Sean McCoy. Sean’s post Thinking About Safety Tools In RPGs is indeed very, very good. Everyone should read it.